Feature Friday - Anuna

As my son would say, "Yay! It's Friday!" He already knows, at the age of three, that Friday is a day worth celebrating :)

So my feature today is the beautiful choral group Anuna, based in Ireland. My husband and I have had the CD The Best of Anuna for a while, and I've always loved it. I've been listening to it in the car a bit and am always struck by its beauty, no matter how many times I've heard it. No matter that a lot of the songs are either partially or fully sung in what I believe is Gaelic, they resonate nonetheless. I listen and I see ancient cathedrals with stained glass windows that echo the haunting melodies of the ladies and resound the deep bass of the male singers. I see fields with workers and mysterious green forests and villages and the sea and it all is surreal and magical. I feel longing and joy, grieving and acceptance, foreboding and excitement. It's all in my head but it's magic, brought about by the crystal clear sound of their beautiful voices. As you can imagine, with all these visions running through my head, listening is great idea fuel for the characters in my head.

So I'm listening to this beauty and then I need to change to the radio, because I need to hear the traffic to determine if I'm going the best way to get to work. Do you have any idea how grating that was on my ears to change to? Ah, it was terrible! I mean, usually I don't mind the radio music too much--although I don't often listen to it as I'd prefer the non-commercial CDs I've heard at least a thousand times--but after listening to voices that reverberate through my body and very nearly take me to a spiritual place, today's music is just noise.

If I ever get the chance to see them live, I want to! My husband was fortunate enough to hear and meet some of them one day years ago while he was working in a bookstore where they put on a small performance.

Until next time,
Julia

Mindful Monday - About a WIP & Race

Well, all of my works are "in progress," but one day, what if one is actually out there?

I pretend, sometimes, that I'm answering questions about my process and inspirations and what not. This is one of those things.

When I started this project, it was a completely different idea than what it has become. I had been doing a lot of mind-numbing alpha-male-romance reading, and when I started out thinking about this story, that's kind of what I had in mind. Boy did the characters have a different idea. As I thought about the whys and hows of the characters, I realized quickly that my story would (hopefully) not fall into that same category. *I would like to say I don't think there is anything wrong with that category, as I just admitted to reading it...*

The MC is a young woman who is also a single mom. When I first started, I thought her child might be mixed-race, so the MC has to deal with the strange looks she gets in the store and what not. And then I gave that some thought...

While the story is supposed to be about this young woman, there is a part of her past that leads her to where she is, and I realized I didn't want to further the stereotype that would leave a young woman alone with a mixed-race child. Because, you know, someone would point that out. I'm not afraid of criticism, but I'm not a fan of offending someone for being thoughtless, either.

I will also say up-front that I do not have any kind of experience which would allow me to enter into, or enter my work into, a conversation of culture that is not white or mostly-white. When it comes to values and beliefs, yes there are differences between cultures and even within the same cultures, no matter if they are in the same neighborhood or a world away. I've not lived enough outside of my own culture to pretend I have the right to write about another. So if in my (non-fantasy) writing my MCs are lacking in racial/cultural diversity, that does not come from an idea of better-ness, but out of respect and knowledge that there are things I just wouldn't get right, I just wouldn't be able to portray--regardless of how empathetic and understanding I might be--, because no matter how much research or observation I might make, I will always be an outsider looking in, imposing my ideas onto what I'm reading/seeing/hearing, even if I think I get it.

I'm not without my own conflict about the above paragraph, because doesn't that mean that I'm also in an ideal place to enter into that conversation? Or at least host it? That privileged place where I can have a conversation and create a safe place for others, who are qualified through their experience to talk about things I can not? But how does one do that?

So there are the two exactly conflicting things on my mind, and the bearing they've had so far on this particular project.

Until next time,
Julia

Feature Friday: "To All the Boys I've Loved Before" by Jenny Han

Sometime over the course of the past couple of weeks, I read To All the Boys I've Loved Before, by Jenny Han.

Image from http://www.dearjennyhan.com/teen.html

I thought the concept was interesting, and I guess I've been seeing it around since P.S. I Still Love You comes out in a few days. Also, it was available from my library on Overdrive.

As much as the title hints about being in love with boys, I found this story to be just as much about Lara Jean's relationships with herself and her family members. All of their lives are changing, Margot is leaving for Scotland to go to college, and she's been the rudder for the family since their mom died years ago. Lara Jean has to take the helm, and while perhaps she's not quite as organized as her older sister, things seem to work out. Perhaps the family relationships stick out to me because I related with Lara Jean more on the level of caring about her dad and missing her mom than anything to do with the boys. She's discovering how to think of things and do things for herself, without Margot to guide her, and I think Lara Jean is learning and acknowledging that. 

Honestly, I expected a little more humor from the love-letter situation. I didn't care much for Peter (I don't think you're supposed to), but I also wasn't over-the-moon for Josh. I think Han did a good job of capturing the conflicting emotions of teenage love (or at least teenage like), and Lara Jean is in an interesting position to experience an extra layer of conflict, because her relationship isn't real. Or is it? seems to be the question.

Overall I found this a mostly light and enjoyable read, and if I get a chance I'll probably pick up the next in the series just to see what happens.

Until next time!
Julia

Mindful Monday - A Little Quiet

It's been a little quiet here the past couple of weeks. I've started a new job, and let's just say I am still adjusting to waking up before the sun rises. Once I get into that habit, I enjoy it, but until then I drag all day.

I'm certain I had something to be mindful about, but my brain is slush.  I'll definitely have something to feature soon, though!

Julia

Feature Friday - Empath by S. Usher Evans

In honor of next week's release, this week's Feature Friday features S. Usher Evans' Empath (follow link for description/pre-order).

Cover Image taken from Amazon.com

First of all I'm happy to say that I read this, being that I've kind of gotten into a reading slump for the past month or so, with other things going on. There are lots of things I want to read, but sometimes I just don't feel like I have the mental capacity to do so. If I'm stressed or anxious I can't concentrate and that seems like a waste of the author's talent. I'm very happy to report that I had no problem focusing with this book, and it may have been just the reading-medicine I've been needing.

Empath is about Lauren, a modern-day girl with dragon-sized heartbreak and anxiety, literally. When she hears a voice that offers to take away that pain, it is irresistible temptation. Transported from the hum-drum of her life and mind-numbing job, she finds herself in a world where mud can be magic, dragons terrorize the village, and washing machines are nowhere to be found. What starts out as simply a quest to get home becomes a quest to gain control of her thoughts, emotions, and fears, and ultimately find release from the hell she's been trapped in. The Anghenfil, the anxiety-dragon of lore, is with Lauren every step of the way, promising that oh-so-tempting easy way out. 

Evans' writing has your heart hurting right there with Lauren, and you want her to find happiness just as you would for a dear friend or even yourself. The depiction of depression and anxiety is accurate and done with much care, and while some very important issues are touched on, they are executed most thoughtfully and left me in tears more than once. 

The writing was beautiful, the adventure was fun to tag along with, and the feels were over the top. Definitely a recommended read.

S. Usher Evans' image

***THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS SPOILERS, written in white text on white background, click and highlight to read***

I really love how the stereotype of the post break-up love interest is broken here. Instead of happily ever-after, here is a young woman who eventually sees the situation for what it is, and acts on it.

Also, while I was very probably already--ok I totally was--crying, that last scene with Cassidy was just tops for me. One of the hardest things about anxiety/depression is being able to reach out for someone for help, and I think that we have to remember to let others know that we will listen.

Thank you S., for putting yourselfLauren out there for us readers, and I'm so glad you were able to do this for yourself. I know that the care taken with these sensitive subjects comes from personal experience, and I just want you to know that it is deeply appreciated. <3

Until next time,
Julia

Mind-full Monday - Guilt, Regret, Anger

This weekend we held a garage sale. That's not terrible, or terribly important, or even terribly exciting. But there is something I am upset with myself about. We live in Texas. There are many people of Hispanic (mostly Mexican) heritage that speak no or very little English. While two such women were browsing our used goods, there was a white woman that came through, looked at their collection of items which was mostly old baby clothes, and made a comment in an accusatory tone about their probable intention of reselling them. Why the hell it mattered to her what they were doing, I have no idea. I'm just glad that was two arm-fulls of baby clothes that I didn't have to pack back up and either store or donate. If they wanted to take them home and burn them, I wouldn't be offended, because if something of ours makes it out to the garage sale, my emotional attachment to it is gone.

I don't know if they understood or even heard her, but I did, and I should have said something.  Instead, I let her go without a word about it. It's eating me up inside. I wish I had a time machine, and I would go back and tell her to keep her comments to herself or get the hell off of my property. But I don't have a time machine. I wish I could tell the women who were standing there how sorry I am that I did not stand up for them in my poor, broken Spanish. But I doubt I would recognize them if I see them again.

I don't understand how people have so much hate. There are despicable characters of every age, race, faith, sex, and other basis on which people are judged. Just the same, there are good, or mostly good, characters in each category, as well. Is it fear? Was she afraid that they are harming her or her lifestyle? Afraid they are going to gain some kind of upper hand? They are people, trying to live their lives and support families. 

I hate confrontation*. I hate violence between people. I hate the exchange of harsh words. It makes me uncomfortable and upset, even when it does not involve me. I allowed my hatred of confrontation to allow other women to be talked down to, bullied, by a woman who felt she was superior, but by what I gathered was no different save for the color on her skin (and her lack of respect). I can not put into words how heavily this weighs on my heart. I'm full of guilt and regret about this, and I am angry with myself for not standing up for them, for being a coward.

Until next time,

Julia.

*I exclude constructive criticism and respectful conversations of opposing views from this definition of confrontation, because I know that change must start somewhere, and I believe in communicating even when it is an unpopular opinion or goes against the norm. There is a difference, though, between yelling back and forth and calmly conversing.