Mindful Monday - Update, Diversity in a WIP

So a while back, I wrote this post on how I don't feel like I have the right to write about another culture.

I'm constantly expanding the number of people I follow on Twitter, there are just so many with something to say that resonate with me! Or make me think! And I realize now how very cowardly that previous post was. In fact, I think I kind of knew there was something wrong with it, but sometimes we need distance to see such errors, and an honesty which honestly can be hard to come by.

So I don't know how to portray a PoC (person/people of color), what does that mean? That I have research to do and conversations to engage in. And if I ever get to a point where I can use beta readers or critique partners, I need to engage with some who identify with that character, so they can tell me what is offensive, what I got wrong, and--hopefully--something that maybe I got right. I can't let the fear of being utterly wrong stop me from trying, and learning in the process.

There are people on Twitter who offer themselves up to answer questions about their sexuality/disabilities/culture/everything, go find them if you have questions. Someone tweeted a link to Diversity Cross-Check, and while I haven't spent much time perusing it yet, it seems like a place where it may be possible to connect with others willing to answer questions.

No, I'm not going to take down my original post where I display, for the world, my ignorance. No, I'll leave it as a reminder to myself that there is always growth and learning to be done.

Let's try not to let our ignorance reinforce plaguing stereotypes. In today's time, our resources are unlimited, and so is our potential.

Until next time,
Julia

Don't forget to check out my latest adventure: byersediting.wordpress.com!

Mindful Monday - The Contract of a Job

With the SCOTUS ruling on marriage equality, there has been resistance by those who issue marriage licenses to do so. And this brings to mind something I was thinking about a couple of months ago as I underwent the interview process for the job I have. They asked me about a time when I disagreed with something I was told to do. I've never really been the rebellious type, usually do as I'm told, no qualms about it. But it got to me to thinking, and here's the more pronounced answer/opinion that I have for the next time I go through that: when you accept a job, you are signing a contract between yourself and the employer that you will perform the duties described.  If you are worried that the position may have you compromising your morals/ethics, perhaps you need to explore that further before signing on. Now if the company is asking you to do something illegal, there's probably a procedure to fix that. But when it comes to a matter of conscience, that's up to you, especially if it is going to keep you from performing your duties. I think this is especially true for those who work for the public. If you have qualms about being able to carry out the duties you were selected for, then get out and let someone who doesn't have those qualms serve the public. It is not your religion that stops you, it is your prejudice. Your religion has not stopped you from issuing marriage licenses to those who are or will become thieves, racists, terrorists, murderers, arsonists, pedophiles, sex-offenders, and more; it shouldn't stop you from marrying couples that have come together in love to partake of their rights--that's discrimination.

/end rant

Until next time,
Julia

Feature Friday - Jamberry Nail Wraps!

Ok, if you follow me on Twitter you probably know by now of my newest fascination: Jamberry Nail Wraps. You heat them up, stick them on, and have beautiful nails forever! (Ok, so I've been too impatient to let them go longer than about 11 or so days...they're still going strong when I take them off.) Here are some pics of mine so far:

Current: KaBoom, in honor of July 4!

Digiscan

Swept Away

I didn't know how popular these are because I live under a rock, but I bet someone you know either is or has a consultant. Totally worth a try!

Mindful Monday - Engage!

I've really been enjoying engaging with the community of readers/writers/authors/editors on Twitter.

Since doing this, I've been privileged enough to beta-read for some folks I really enjoy, and hear people's stories that range from eerily-similar to worlds-apart from mine. Sometimes they make me feel like my dream of being an editor is a little less like a fantasy than I once thought it was. They are some of the most supportive and courageous people I've encountered, and I adore them.

Mindful Monday - Define Your Own Success

When my friends from high school started graduating from college a few years ago (and a couple of years before me), I realized I could not hold myself to society's definition of "success."

To me that definition is: no more than 4 (maybe 5) years in college pursuing a bachelors degree, an immediate or near-immediate entry into a career or grad-school, and financial gain, etc., or maybe that's just what I thought success was for so long because that is what I remember thinking success was when I was a teenager looking forward to my future.

So when I started seeing graduation announcements for friends, I looked at myself and my life and I wasn't unhappy. No, I didn't (yet) have a bachelors or even an associates degree. No, I hadn't found my calling and I was still working retail. But I was satisfied with where I was. At that point in my life I was already happily married, a homeowner, and on my way to being a mom. I felt satisfied with my choices and where I was, and I took it upon myself to assert that there is more than one type of success. That it has more to do with how happy you are with your life choices than where you stand in comparison to everyone else. So, in short, as I texted to a friend who was feeling like they were unaccomplished in comparison to her friends,

 "Success doesn't come only in numbers defined by others, you have to define it for yourself!"

Until next time,

Julia

Feature Friday - Anuna

As my son would say, "Yay! It's Friday!" He already knows, at the age of three, that Friday is a day worth celebrating :)

So my feature today is the beautiful choral group Anuna, based in Ireland. My husband and I have had the CD The Best of Anuna for a while, and I've always loved it. I've been listening to it in the car a bit and am always struck by its beauty, no matter how many times I've heard it. No matter that a lot of the songs are either partially or fully sung in what I believe is Gaelic, they resonate nonetheless. I listen and I see ancient cathedrals with stained glass windows that echo the haunting melodies of the ladies and resound the deep bass of the male singers. I see fields with workers and mysterious green forests and villages and the sea and it all is surreal and magical. I feel longing and joy, grieving and acceptance, foreboding and excitement. It's all in my head but it's magic, brought about by the crystal clear sound of their beautiful voices. As you can imagine, with all these visions running through my head, listening is great idea fuel for the characters in my head.

So I'm listening to this beauty and then I need to change to the radio, because I need to hear the traffic to determine if I'm going the best way to get to work. Do you have any idea how grating that was on my ears to change to? Ah, it was terrible! I mean, usually I don't mind the radio music too much--although I don't often listen to it as I'd prefer the non-commercial CDs I've heard at least a thousand times--but after listening to voices that reverberate through my body and very nearly take me to a spiritual place, today's music is just noise.

If I ever get the chance to see them live, I want to! My husband was fortunate enough to hear and meet some of them one day years ago while he was working in a bookstore where they put on a small performance.

Until next time,
Julia

Mindful Monday - About a WIP & Race

Well, all of my works are "in progress," but one day, what if one is actually out there?

I pretend, sometimes, that I'm answering questions about my process and inspirations and what not. This is one of those things.

When I started this project, it was a completely different idea than what it has become. I had been doing a lot of mind-numbing alpha-male-romance reading, and when I started out thinking about this story, that's kind of what I had in mind. Boy did the characters have a different idea. As I thought about the whys and hows of the characters, I realized quickly that my story would (hopefully) not fall into that same category. *I would like to say I don't think there is anything wrong with that category, as I just admitted to reading it...*

The MC is a young woman who is also a single mom. When I first started, I thought her child might be mixed-race, so the MC has to deal with the strange looks she gets in the store and what not. And then I gave that some thought...

While the story is supposed to be about this young woman, there is a part of her past that leads her to where she is, and I realized I didn't want to further the stereotype that would leave a young woman alone with a mixed-race child. Because, you know, someone would point that out. I'm not afraid of criticism, but I'm not a fan of offending someone for being thoughtless, either.

I will also say up-front that I do not have any kind of experience which would allow me to enter into, or enter my work into, a conversation of culture that is not white or mostly-white. When it comes to values and beliefs, yes there are differences between cultures and even within the same cultures, no matter if they are in the same neighborhood or a world away. I've not lived enough outside of my own culture to pretend I have the right to write about another. So if in my (non-fantasy) writing my MCs are lacking in racial/cultural diversity, that does not come from an idea of better-ness, but out of respect and knowledge that there are things I just wouldn't get right, I just wouldn't be able to portray--regardless of how empathetic and understanding I might be--, because no matter how much research or observation I might make, I will always be an outsider looking in, imposing my ideas onto what I'm reading/seeing/hearing, even if I think I get it.

I'm not without my own conflict about the above paragraph, because doesn't that mean that I'm also in an ideal place to enter into that conversation? Or at least host it? That privileged place where I can have a conversation and create a safe place for others, who are qualified through their experience to talk about things I can not? But how does one do that?

So there are the two exactly conflicting things on my mind, and the bearing they've had so far on this particular project.

Until next time,
Julia

Mind-full Monday - Guilt, Regret, Anger

This weekend we held a garage sale. That's not terrible, or terribly important, or even terribly exciting. But there is something I am upset with myself about. We live in Texas. There are many people of Hispanic (mostly Mexican) heritage that speak no or very little English. While two such women were browsing our used goods, there was a white woman that came through, looked at their collection of items which was mostly old baby clothes, and made a comment in an accusatory tone about their probable intention of reselling them. Why the hell it mattered to her what they were doing, I have no idea. I'm just glad that was two arm-fulls of baby clothes that I didn't have to pack back up and either store or donate. If they wanted to take them home and burn them, I wouldn't be offended, because if something of ours makes it out to the garage sale, my emotional attachment to it is gone.

I don't know if they understood or even heard her, but I did, and I should have said something.  Instead, I let her go without a word about it. It's eating me up inside. I wish I had a time machine, and I would go back and tell her to keep her comments to herself or get the hell off of my property. But I don't have a time machine. I wish I could tell the women who were standing there how sorry I am that I did not stand up for them in my poor, broken Spanish. But I doubt I would recognize them if I see them again.

I don't understand how people have so much hate. There are despicable characters of every age, race, faith, sex, and other basis on which people are judged. Just the same, there are good, or mostly good, characters in each category, as well. Is it fear? Was she afraid that they are harming her or her lifestyle? Afraid they are going to gain some kind of upper hand? They are people, trying to live their lives and support families. 

I hate confrontation*. I hate violence between people. I hate the exchange of harsh words. It makes me uncomfortable and upset, even when it does not involve me. I allowed my hatred of confrontation to allow other women to be talked down to, bullied, by a woman who felt she was superior, but by what I gathered was no different save for the color on her skin (and her lack of respect). I can not put into words how heavily this weighs on my heart. I'm full of guilt and regret about this, and I am angry with myself for not standing up for them, for being a coward.

Until next time,

Julia.

*I exclude constructive criticism and respectful conversations of opposing views from this definition of confrontation, because I know that change must start somewhere, and I believe in communicating even when it is an unpopular opinion or goes against the norm. There is a difference, though, between yelling back and forth and calmly conversing.

Mindful Monday - Returned

So it's back to Monday again, is it?

Well, I've been a little quiet lately, but I've seen the numbers, it's not like anyone actually noticed ;-)

So I've had a lot on my mind, but I'm finally feeling a little more human.

So what's been going on? Well, I've come to the conclusion that I suck. At least when it comes to doing things for myself, that is. This blog? Deserted for nearly a month. My writing? Well, do to-do and grocery lists count? Working out? HAHAHAHA! Seriously, I'm much better at doing things for other people, including getting out of bed and actually eating.

Those things haven't been far from my mind though, and I don't think I actually suck, so no worries--the logical and emotional parts of my mind are always at odds with each other, and logical usually wins, in the end of the often-lengthy battles. I compose blog posts in my head as I try to go to sleep, and forget them in the morning. I've more fully created characters for a story that is spinning in my mind than I've ever done before, although they are far from complete. And working out? HAHAHA! Seriously. Maybe I should buy a full-body wetsuit to swim in this summer (it'd be a lot warmer, right? And I haven't really enjoyed swimming in years...).

There are also things going on that are outside of my control. Some of them aren't really mine, but things with people I love, that I wish I could do something about, but it is not my place and it is not in my power. So in place of my being able to help, I worry for them, I dream for them, I hope for them. For myself, I had what I felt like a very positive job interview, but I've yet to hear anything back. I know these things take time, and I've done the best I can in the time when I could affect the outcome, so all that's left to do is wait.

So maybe these things don't seem like much, but they were enough for me to bury my head in the sand for a couple of weeks.

What now? Well, I get to try again. I get to experiment with blogging some more, transfer the scenes in my head onto the screen, and try to pick up yoga again. Seek the relief from anxieties I felt I was close to before. Will I do all of these things perfectly this time? No. I will probably fall off the face of the Earth again. And then I will return. That's life, I think, and I accept that while the yo-yo experience is typical me and I can try to change it, it takes time.

See you around.
Julia

Edit: "So I've had a lot on my mind, but I'm finally feeling a little more human." I've been thinking about that, and I'm certain I've said it before. So, what is feeling human, anyways? For me it is being able to feel my emotions and not just recognize them from a distance. The journey there feels like climbing up a muddy hill, you get close to the top and slip a little before you finally make it. And once you do, you realize that it really wasn't the top, and you have to keep going. More mud, more slips, and more stops along the way.

Pendulum Ascending

Kelsey Macke, author of Damsel Distressed--which, if you haven't read it, you need to, and don't forget the tissues, my thoughts here--used great imagery for the feeling of slipping into depression, that of the pendulum. As I attempted to get to sleep last night this morning, I began to feel some positive energies begin to return to me after spending some time in the darkness that pendulum swings through, I believe this time around it was more anxiety than depression, they aren't exclusive from each other. I thought about the pendulum a bit, and that just as it falls, the nature of it is to also rise back up to the other side, back to the light. It is that ascension that sometimes is all we have that keeps us going, the knowledge that somewhere, on the upside, is light. I also think that sometimes, where the darkness and light meet and become that gray, in-between area varies, and perhaps my dark is another's dawn, but that doesn't make it any less dark to me.

Found on Pinterest - Links to here: http://www.theprincessandthepump.com/2014/02/at-least-its-not.html

With these thoughts on my mind I drifted to sleep, and found the lovely S. Usher Evans, author of the Razia series and soon-to-be-released Empath--also must reads, being the kindred spirit she always seems to be:

From Empath. #SlayYourFears #bookquotes http://t.co/PPMFP0jKXD pic.twitter.com/QioRyg66cS
— S. Usher Evans (@s_usherevans) April 15, 2015

So here are two of my favorite authors, whose works give words to that which I struggle with, and somehow, those images help. Now it's up to me to continue taking steps, to keep the upward swing of the pendulum as long as I can.

Feature Friday - Storm Damage!

Well, I can't believe it is Friday, again! And here I don't think I've read/watched/listened to/whatever anything (published) worth featuring! There's been a lot of other stuff going on. So, here are a couple of pictures of the damage from the storm that came through a couple of nights ago. The noise woke us up. Supposedly it was just wind/rain, but it sure did cause some damage. My first thought when woken up was that it was a tornado, and we all went into serious storm mode (aka sitting in the bathtub, ready to take cover) until we determined, by use of my husband's smartphone, just what was going on and that we were not going to be blown away. We were completely unprepared for the discoveries we made outside. While the roofing shingles everywhere and the neighbor's broken window were definitely surprises, I think the fence really takes the cake.

Dear Mother Nature, we were already aware we needed a new fence.

A nice view to the other street. Four of us are sharing a yard right now. The posts of the fence are actually snapped at the bottom. Admittedly, we have more of our fence left than they do.

So what excitement have you had this week?

Julia

Mind-full Monday

Well, instead of Mindful Monday, I'm calling today "Mind-full," meaning my mind is full, and not in a good way.

All of these anxieties that I thought were taken care of have begun to rear their heads again. This has been brought on in part by the job fair I attended at my alma mater last week. They are anxieties about the future, and while I know the future can't be controlled, it can be influenced by the actions taken now.

Well, I'm not too comfortable disclosing it all now, but I know that the decisions that have been made are the best for my family, and that's always our #1 priority.

Until next time,
Julia

Mindful Monday - My Fantasy Beginnings

This was written (mostly) more than two months ago...

My interest in writing lies mostly in fantasy, and last night as I attempted to drift towards dreamland (it was a very slow journey) I thought about where I got my beginnings with fantasy. 

As a child often left to my own imaginative play, I was always in another world (or another form-think lion or princess), I didn't know I could share my friends :)

Now of course there were the Disney princesses and fairytales that everyone hears, but I mean my own personal interest in fantasy that was chosen by me, not forced by common lore. There are two works that stand out for me as earliest (literary) fantasy choices: Winter of Fire by Sheryl Jordan and The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman. I don't know which one was first, but they are at a similar point in my memory-somewhere around the 4th grade. Somewhere around the 6th grade I sat outside next to the big oak tree out front and read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.I only ever made it through 4 of those (oh the shame! I'm an embarrassment to my generation!).  I don't really recall reading anything else that I would qualify as fantasy, but my memory from those years is a bit difficult to access, so there might have been more. 

Throughout high school my literary interests turned towards thrillers, especially those written by Dean Koontz. Interspersed with my required school readings and teenage interests that might not have been quite so literary, I don't recall indulging in fantasy then, either.

At some point in time, I believe it was just after I graduated, I was finally able to get my hands on and finish the two books that followed The Golden Compass. 

My real, lasting interest became formed most fully when I read A Game of Thrones. I was already living my adult life, away from home and the small-town-mindedness that had previously surrounded me my entire life. I have, since then, been an avid consumer and lover of fantasy. That is also when characters began slipping through hallways in my mind and I began to put them onto paper (or screen).

I still enjoy general fiction, but there is something so exciting about exploring other worlds!

I ought to add that my husband had a great influence on this interest as well, although this post is more about the literary influences. He read these fantasy works alongside me (in fact I think he is the one that brought them home), as well as several series that I have not yet begun. He's also always been a gamer, and there is a ton of fantasy knowledge and lore that comes along with that. He has always encouraged my interest and supported the ideas I throw his way. My interest in fantasy owes him as much credit as it does to the works which influence me. 

So what have I read recently that I consider fantasy?
The Madness Project by J. Leigh Bralick (also check out The Lost Road Chronicles)
Dragonhold by Brian Rathbone (also check out the rest of the Godsland series, here is the first)
Double LIfe by S. Usher Evans--Sci-fi/Fantasy (Book two, Alliances, out in 8 days!)

And what's next on the TBR list that's fantasy?
Crown of Stones: Magic Price  by C. L. Schneider


Of course there are loads more on the lists, but this is a good place to start :)

Julia

Mindful Monday

When I first set out to write this post (you know, just a couple of days ago), I contemplated titling it "Mirror Monday," but landed instead upon "Mindful Monday" (other contenders were "Monday Madness" and "Mental Monday"--ok, I admit, I adore alliteration). "Mirror Monday," as it was originally intended, was going to be a time for reflection on the week, but "Mindful" sounded so much more thoughtful. Events of yesterday and this morning have made that title even more fitting.

The following account will probably not read like much, but to someone (like me) who is battling to overcome the slump that I've fallen into, it is amazing.

Saturday I took a not-as-pleasant-as-hoped trip to the mall in which I found the fitting room to be an enemy (the mirror in particular). I have gained a bit of weight in the past year. I am still a very small person and most people would hit me for saying that I am unhappy with how I look. But that's not for them to judge. I don't mind the numerical change in my weight or the change in clothing sizes, if anything they are goals that I have never been able to reach. But it is the look of myself in the mirror that I do not like, that baby fat I haven't ever quite lost (not that I ever really tried...) that really gets me. So in my frustrated state Saturday night I decided it was time for a change. So I found a YouTube channel (Yoga with Adrienne) with beginner-level yoga I felt I could follow along with and keep up with. My thinking is yoga would be a good place to start for me, and I'm hoping it is smooth enough to not aggravate my sciatica pain too badly, and that when/if I decide to do something more traditional (? I want to say intense, but I understand yoga can be intense, but I mean like, high-intensity...you know...workouts that aren't yoga) then I will have strengthened up enough to avoid aggravating it more than necessary (last time I tried working out I stopped because I hurt for so many days afterwards).

Saturday also found me on edX as my late night anxiety about employment began to rear its ugly head. I don't remember what I originally went on there for, but I realized the Walt Whitman poetry course I enrolled in has begun (and I love Whitman), and that Berkeley has some "book club" courses coming up. This is really exciting, because not only do they feature classics that I intended to (eventually) read, but also because I'm hoping they'll be a way to continue thinking about literature in a critical way with others.

Yesterday was a nice, dare I say warm day out (after the cold we've had the last week (?) or so). We woke up, had simple sandwiches for lunch (which were delicious, and I didn't have to make them), and went out to a few stores in search of something for my husband. It was an unhurried kind of outing that we don't get much, and it was really nice. One of the best parts is that we were able to talk. Not that we can't or don't while we are at home, but there is something for us about riding in the car that makes conversation so easy and flowing. I began to feel an old part of me (or a real part of me, I don't know what to call it, maybe both?) re-emerge, a part that I really like. It talked excitedly about my thoughts and ideas and it has been so very long since that has happened. I feel like the realization of that emergence of my old/real/true(?) self was a turning point.

When we got home little boy was tuckered out so he took a nice, long nap, and we each got to do somethings we've been wanting/needing to do. I (finally) took down the Christmas tree and got everything put away. I caught a cleaning bug and cleaned more than I have in probably a month (save for dishes and laundry). It isn't necessarily the things I accomplished yesterday, but the spirit in which they were done. I had energy and thoughtfulness that I haven't in a long time.

And so that brings me to this morning. When my husband left for work I got up and tried my yoga workout for the first time (which was really nice, and I spent some extra time with it, too, while my son was sleeping). I was feeling quite thoughtful and calm, and thought some poetry seemed like a good thing, so I pulled out She Had Some Horses by Joy Harjo and read/contemplated some poems for a short while.

So that is why "Mindful" seemed so appropriate, not only have I been looking at myself, but I've also been contemplating.

I feel alive and human and happy and I have missed myself.

Julia

TBT - Poetry from last year.

I posted this to my twitter account (@byersj09) some time ago, but it only recently came to my attention that it is actually a bit hard to read on there, so I'm reposting it here for a first throw-back-Thursday post. I wrote it during my creative writing class last summer, and probably my favorite from that time. Here is a link to the picture that was used as my inspiration (per the assignment's directions): http://holeinthedonut.com/2013/02/23/photo-easternmost-point-spain-cap-de-creus-natural-park/
I hope you enjoy!

The Cape

Two wheels of soft rubber whisper on the asphalt,

the chain gently whirs on the gears like wind against wings

until the salt water engulfs first

the nose,
            then tongue,

 then vision.

I walked this path some months ago

as leaves turned into individual flames

and danced on their branches and floated in the wind.

Small, smooth stones that crunch underfoot

then give way to rocks that skitter, and clatter

and boulders that stand strong,

like bolts holding the earth together.

Birds caw and squawk, specters in the sky

hunting the next victim, their calls swept out to sea –

lyrical accompaniment to the ocean’s melody:

surf slapping the strong, stony shore.

The ocean breaking over rocks time and time again

mimics the tumbling thoughts,

the regrets, and the question

“What if?”

“What if I got to say goodbye?”

and when you try to escape them

they crash loudly, repeatedly,

relentless waves against your conscience.

Tufts of greenery cling to the beaten rocks,

the only brave pops of color in this gray-scaled world,

their flowers rare glimpses of the life that thrives here.

In the horizon the gray-cloud sky meets

with the gray-reflecting water

pulling on the gray-rock fingers of the Cape,

pulling them out to sea against their will.

Even the air is gray and thick

with a drizzle that is not quite rain

nor the lack of it.

The gray invades the body, the mind, the soul,

devouring emotions and thoughts

leaving you even more

numb and empty

than the salt-filled shell of a summer locust.

I see you standing there, locust-girl,

blown by the battering gray wind,

and I’ve brought the Sun with  me.

Welcome to Adulthood!

A more personal post than some, this was written probably about a year ago, shared with a friend, and now updated for sharing with the world.

When I was younger, if I noticed the syrup bottle was sticky, I could just put it back and one day it would no longer be sticky, someone else in the household had cleaned it up. I have been guilty of turning a blind eye to sticky syrup bottles, overflowing trash cans, and dead batteries. While I have been a wife and mother for five and two and a half years, respectively, there was a moment not too long ago that I can only describe as realizing that I am an adult, no THE adult who cleans off the sticky syrup, throws away the trash, and keeps the home semi-orderly and functional. Although I have had this knowledge for years now, there are actions that come along with that knowledge which mark a transition from knowing to acting upon that knowledge, and that time has come to me. So here’s to being the adult, may my syrup remain inside the bottle (or on top of the pancakes), the trash remain manageable, and the smile on my face because there is no greater joy than providing for my family the best that I am able.

Laundry Solutions

Laundry. I'm not sure I know anyone who truly enjoys doing laundry (maybe I need to expand my circle?), so I thought I would share some tips/methods that work for me.

Hangers

I'm guessing most of us have seen the different ways to hang clothes passing along the internet, (if not, here are a few, the last two are just pictures, but pretty self-explanatory: Hanging Bra Organizer, Tie Hanger turned Tank Top Hanger, and Shower Rings as Tank Top Hangers), but I'll be honest, I don't want to go find the materials/dedicate the time to such ventures (and I hate opening/closing shower curtain rings). My tank tops were, however, taking up a tremendous amount of room. So my solution? This:

you know those hangers you bring home from the store? Well, they have a little place at the bottom where another hanger can be placed through, so I did that to create this tank top holder. I have made several of these, as any longer and they'd be brushing the stuff I have hiding at the bottom of my closet, and use them for tank tops/spaghetti straps and bras, too. 

Stains

We don't have a tremendous amount of "stains" like lipstick, grass, or wine, but what we do[did] have is[was] deodorant build-up on our clothing. I don't know if it is the brand(s) of deodorant being used, the usage habits, something about our washing machine where it wouldn't take it out, or what, but the build-up would get to the point of making visible stains on the outside of the under-arms, especially on my husbands clothing. I needed to find a solution which did not require replacing my husband's wardrobe every few months. So I got on Jillee's blog to see if she had anything, and low and behold! Goodbye to Yellow Armpit Stains! While our stains/build-up was not yellow, it was certainly worth a try. I was a little nervous since the original post was about white shirts, but her update on color-safety and the idea that the shirt was unwearable anyways, so if it was discolored it wouldn't be any loss, gave me the confidence to try it. AND IT WORKED! So I've taken up the habit of turning all the shirts inside out and soaking them in the tub, then applying the dawn/baking soda/peroxide mixture with a toothbrush to help scrub the deodorant out, then letting them sit while another load runs through the wash, and finally placing them in a regular load in the washer. While this may sound like a lot of work, it really isn't, and it's definitely a lot less work than having to get new shirts all the time!

Washing

It's been in my head to try homemade laundry detergent, but I haven't done so yet.

I see a lot of people who say that doing one load of laundry every day keeps the stress out of doing laundry. I agree that is one way to do it, but it has naturally occurred that Sunday has become my unofficial laundry day. You see, on Sundays, we typically stay at home, relaxing, and then in the evening we prepare for the upcoming week. In doing the laundry on this day I don't have to worry about whether or not we wear the same thing twice in the same week, or that my husband won't have the clothes he prefers to wear to work. It also keeps me from being completely unproductive on a Sunday. Another thing, I do not like folding clothes and putting them away. While I hang everything that needs to straight out of the dryer, things like socks and pajamas can be thrown into one basket throughout the day, and at the end I have to only fold and put that away one time, instead of several throughout the week. This is the way it has just happened, and it works, so I'll keep doing it until somethings calls for a change. This is not to say I refuse to do laundry during the week, or that I don't, but the majority of it happens on this one day.

Revving up!

So, I am feeling pretty great!

My every-other-weekday workout routine, with the addition of a multivitamin (which my 2.5 year old helps remind me to take), has me feeling pretty great. Better than I have in a long time.

My Old Routine 

I have not had a regular workout routine since the days of eighth-grade athletics. Seriously.

In the fall/winter time I had band: pushing and pulling and lifting and maneuvering the marimba/vibes/timpani/other various instruments as we loaded up for marching competitions or football games or out to the practice field.

For a few years, while working in my former job, I was on my feet walking around and lifting/loading bulky items for 4 to 8 hours a day several days a week. A consistent routine though, has been neglected for a long while.

Since being able to stay home with our son, whatever energy the workout of work may have provided dropped off. I felt I never had energy anymore, and my anxieties really began to get at me (worse than they already had). It got to the point where I had to go to the doctor for pharmaceutical help, and since (neglecting the past week or so) I've had a handful of days where I felt "normal," which is amazing because I hadn't felt that way in many years. I know at the age of 25, that doesn't seem like a claim I should be able to make, but it is. Between my horrendous headaches (started in high school, but since have been a lot better after having the baby) and pain from my sciatica nerve, plus the emotional roller-coaster I seem to constantly ride, I wasn't sure I would ever feel normal again.

My New Routine

This "5-4-3-2-1 Workout," is great because I don't feel overwhelmed with the amount of "to-do" and now I can do almost the whole thing (15 minutes doesn't seem like much-but it is for me). Since I can almost do the whole thing, I'm planning on either adding or alternating something else, which I haven't located quite yet, for a little change in pace. I will likely keep it short, since I work out while my son attacks me with hugs or trying to climb up on me as I do the push-ups/dips and the like.

I've also been trying to eat a bit better, as previously mentioned, and I'm certain that helps too. The hardest thing for me is drinking [enough] water.

So What has Changed?

My energy. I can now go through a whole day of classes, and come home and still have the ability to get up and cook dinner, wash the dishes, and be involved in the evening. Used to I would come home and become useless. I also feel up to doing things, even those I don't necessarily want to do but need to do, going places, and talking to people.

My outlook. I think this couples with my renewed energy. I feel markedly more optimistic and opportunistic than I did before, and things don't seem quite as bad as they used too (not that they're bad at all, really, but even the smallest things could seem like mountains).

My body. No, not visibly, but I can feel changes like wanting to run or stretch or be active. I feel stronger/more confident when trying to do physical things (although it could just be all in my head, too). Of course this, too, is intertwined with my energy/outlook changes.

What Now?

Like I said, I'm not sure yet. A purely cardio workout? Some core-building exercises? Another variation of the fifteen-minute workout? These are the things I'm considering, no doubt you will know about my decision before too long.

Journey on!
Julia

Changes

It's coincidence that the time I've decided to start exercising has fallen at the beginning of the new year (I think) but it seems as good a time as any to take a little more control in my life over myself.

Now I'm a small person, and weighing too much has never been an issue for me (quite the opposite, my problem has been weighing too little) so it isn't about weight loss, or the shape of my figure. After having Jackson, however, I have been left with an area around my stomach which displeases me, and I wish to be rid of it, although under my clothing it isn't noticeable, I see it in the mirror and every day I wish it was different, so now I'm working on it. Also, although I am a small person and don't ever expect myself to be crazy-strong, I do think it would be good if I improved my strength, especially my upper-body, in the event that I ever need to use that strength-because I have zero of it right now. I have a fifteen minute routine I'm working on (I still can't complete it, that's pretty sad, right?) and once I feel comfortable with that I will start looking to add to it and focus on certain areas I feel need work, but taking little steps at a time is the way to go for me, or I will become completely overwhelmed, fall into an anxious depression and give up.

I also know that exercise (and diet) can be great factors in emotional health, and I hate taking medicine to battle my anxiety, and think that maybe if I could get into a healthier routine I could leave prescription medicine in the past.

I have already (without struggle, actually, which is very surprising) removed drinking soda from my lifestyle, and caffeine is on it's way out from other sources including tea and coffee, which I have been consuming less and decaffeinated varieties of.

Trying to cook healthy is really a challenge in my opinion, at least in my household. I have a tendency to take in too much information and not know where to start with it all. I'm trying to work on it little by little instead, but it will take time and trial-and-error, and probably a little more time, too.

So here's to progress and hard work :)

Julia

Stash Acquired

I have been very fortunate in acquiring a HUGE stash of fabric and sewing notions.

My grandmother (lovingly called Memaw) used to sew SO much, but unfortunately over the last few years she has lost her ability to see, and can no longer sew (or drive, or read, or many of the other things she used to enjoy so much). She told me she had a lot of materials and patterns, but I had no idea just HOW much that would turn out to be (and it's likely there are still boxes of it mixed in with her other belongings). So, here's a picture of my loot as I brought it in from the house and stacked it in the hallway:

there are yards upon yards of materials, not to mention boxes of patterns and thread, spools of elastic, and who knows what else is hiding in that treasure trove. The fabrics range from silky soft apparel to thick canvas-y things and all sorts of stuff between. Being such a novice at sewing I'm not sure what some of it is, or if some of it is even worn in today's fashion, but that will be part of the fun of finding out just what I have and what I can do with it. I'm very grateful and lucky to have come in possession of these things, and I'm thinking I'll have to make at least one garment for Memaw as thanks :)

Julia